the political is personal: on rape culture

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Hi, everyone! This essay was published last year in a book called 
The Political is Personal published by Dirt Media in collaboration 
with Magic Degree Recordings. I felt nervous about putting myself 
out there in this manner, and to some degree, I still do. But I think
each of us has to step into our own truth at some point. It's the 
only way we can drive this sort of thing from out of the shadows, 
and stop living in undeserved shame.

It’s hard to explain rape culture to someone who has never heard the term without coming off kinda strong. It’s hard to talk about sex, in general, because of the laundry bag of assumptions and shame and whatever else that comes attached to it. Peel back that layer of sex talk, and it’s even harder to talk about “bad sex” — which I’m coming to realize is what a lot of people tend to categorize coercive sex (and a multitude of other forms of sexual assault) as.  Continue reading “the political is personal: on rape culture”


food diary? trying something new?

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as cheesy as it sounds (and is), my team at work decided to take on a diet challenge together, which i have lovingly dubbed “the scale back challenge”. i’m calling it that because the rules we settled on are that, for the next week, we will do the following:

  1. eat a pescatarian diet.
  2. drink only water and up to 1 cup of coffee per day.

i like this challenge because it’s just a couple positive changes, rather than going completely restrictive out of no where. this is more gentle than going cold turkey with any extreme diets, and lord knows i need gentle when it comes to making dietary changes. i think the hardest parts will be to resist bacon in the mornings and saying goodbye to my 5 p.m. pick-me-up coffee when i’m pulling late nights in the office. Continue reading “food diary? trying something new?”

remembering my roots, my reasons.

in the past week or so, i received two very sweet messages/style shoutouts from old friends.

(1) left — from my friend jessica, who has lived in thailand since she graduated with her degree in journalism and just left her job teaching in order to pursue writing, go her, she’s so cute, omg.

she posted a selfie of hers, looking great in a floral maxi dress and bamboo bag combination, and she tagged me on her IG story as the inspiration. what an honor! we have always bonded over our girliness and fixation on style and expression. it’s wonderful watching her style grow over the years.

Continue reading “remembering my roots, my reasons.”

I never liked chores anyway.

Lately I have been doing this thing where, if I am listening to a song on my music library and I know I don’t like it, I will actually delete it from my library rather than hitting “skip.” Sounds like a pretty obvious course of action, right? The problem is that my mentality, for yeaaaaaaaaars, has been that I may someday like that song — so why not just keep it, in case it grows on me?

Continue reading “I never liked chores anyway.”

Preparing for war.


** Author’s note: I wrote this post in January, and used the fact that I did not have a certain image I wanted to use in the body as an excuse not to post entirely. WTF, Alex!

I’ve been reading a book called The War of Art by Steven Pressfield, and it’s been hitting hard. I feel so called out in a good way by almost every message, especially the ones that relate to fear and distraction and negative self-talk. Continue reading “Preparing for war.”

the real me // is this my saturn returning?

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i think a lot about how this is considered to be a daring expression of self, and how this sort of photograph is seen as indecent to some. the honest to god truth is that i feel like i’m taking a risk by posting this photo and these words here, and at the same time i’m aware that it’s ridiculous to feel this way when i’ve taken more scandalous photos in a swimsuit (in public!) before. isn’t that crazy? i feel like it definitely has to do more with making yourself available to be seen (at a beach) vs. choosing to show yourself (via underwear selfie’s on your blog). The adventures of being a woman continue…also check out John Berger’s “Ways of Seeing”…

I wrote this post on November 25, 2018:

I feel like I’m the real me, inside a cage. Like I just woke up, or I’m starting to wake up. And I just want to take off this corporate, 9-5, cookie cutter shell I happened to wake up in and really come out to play. The real me, who writes a blog consistently and makes youtube videos and does podcasts for a living. The real me who posts sexy ass photos just because I want to and because I can. The real me who has a sick ass dance style that is sexy in the most debased and raw way — yet somehow still classy and highbrow, and unique, in movement. The real me who makes video essays about film and TV shows. The real me who makes her own magazine. The real me who styles outfits professionally. Continue reading “the real me // is this my saturn returning?”